We haz hacked your website, your files and your webcam (tut tut, you dirty bastard). Pay us 5 million SkibidiCryptoCoins or everyone else is going to see what you get up to when your partner is off to romba class.
What? Don’t believe us?
We literally have all your passwords now and can remote access into your machine to fuck you up funtime.
10 million. It’s 10 million now. If you don’t pay up within the next hour its going up to 25.
I don’t give a shit about your Firewall, you should have invested in a proper one rather than that piece of shit. Pen Testing? You’re having a laugh, aren’t you. Centralisation of resources has just made this all easier for me. Coding was never my strong point, but now I can just run a fleet of agents to attack whatever I want, whenever I want. Just probing here and there to find some fucking idiot who has left their entire digital existence open to people like me. I mean, I’m doing you a favour, I’m only asking for 40 million, less ethical hackers would double that, or more.
You’ve still got 30 mins, do you want me to send that photo to your mum?
Fuck, some twat with ChatGPT has just hacked me…..